


All has led to this moment

by Lakritzwolf



Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Reincarnation, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-21
Updated: 2018-01-21
Packaged: 2019-03-07 20:50:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,198
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13443129
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lakritzwolf/pseuds/Lakritzwolf
Summary: Written for the WinterFRE 2018 by gatheringFiKi on tumblr.Prompt 151: Reincarnation AU





	All has led to this moment

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Linane](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Linane/gifts).



The worst had always been the dreams.

The first ones Fili could remember had surfaced when puberty had hit. Between wet dreams of various guys in his class and the weird shit that everybody dreams there were always those that left him with a feeling he could not name. He could use words to describe them, but they would never hit home.

Longing, fear, and pain in some nights. In others it was happiness, laughter, joy, and a strange sense of belonging that always made him sad, made him want to fall asleep and get back into that dream.

He never remembered the dream as such. He only felt these things when he woke up.

Whenever he mentioned those strange dreams to his friends he could see that they didn’t really believe him and only thought he tried to make himself interesting. But he also had some online friends with whom he shared a whole other connection. They had never met face to face and never would, but they knew more of Fili than any of his real life friends.

He shared his dreams with them. They listened – or rather, read – and even if they didn’t understand, they took him serious. They believed him. They tried to help him wrest a meaning out of those feelings, but Fili never came to a satisfying answer.

Until one day, one of his friends told him about a book he was reading, about two lovers being reincarnated time after time until they had solved a problem they had caused during their first meeting.

_Their dreams sound like the ones you talk about. You should read it._

Fili had bought the Kindle version and eventually had to agree.

Not that this made him feel any better. Quite the contrary. He didn’t believe in reincarnation. But then, he enjoyed fantasy and had read dozens of books, and star-crossed lovers and reincarnations had been a recurring theme. Yes, his dreams sounded similar. But Fili was a loner and had frequent crushes on various boys who always turned out straight. He longed for love, and for belonging somewhere. Having friends he could hang out with and who could give him a hug. That was a much easier explanation than going esoteric and mystical.

Yet he found himself unable to stop thinking about it. It was a dream, of course, like a little girl would dream of being a princess, or a boy of being a noble knight slaying the dragon to set the princess free. Or becoming a famous rock star or actor and just... basically anything but what Fili was now. Uninteresting, boring, a daydreamer, and someone who always fell for the straights.

Fili allowed himself to dream. To be a rock star, to be an actor, a famous author. Or meeting someone with whom to save the world. It didn’t make a difference.

* * *

With the passing years, Fili began to build more self-esteem, aided by surprising muscle growth in the gym and an equally surprising, masculine beard. Fili cultivated both to his best abilities as he approached adulthood. Acne finally left him, but the same could not be said about his dreams.

Fili’s life took another turn for the better when he started university. Geology wasn’t a field that drew many people, so he and his fellow students were a tight-knitted and not very large community.

There were several sports programs in his uni, and Fili tried a few before he settled on sword fighting. Something about that slightly archaic and brutal look enticed him, and he quickly discovered that it was anything but brutish and required dexterity as well as speed and grace. He enjoyed it like he had enjoyed nothing in his life so far, and quickly became one of the course’s best.

It was through one of his fellow students that he met the LARPers. Oriel, a slender boy with a Russian accent, had told him so much about all the fun they had that Fili let himself be talked into tagging along.

Fili was unsure at first, feeling out of place with those people who all knew each other, talked to each other in pseudo-Elizabethan English with ‘well’ being every other word, and were dressed in more or less befitting outfits for medieval fantasy characters.

They weren’t doing an event that day, just hanging out and having fun with some of them being in character and others not. Fili clung to Oriel, still not sure about the whole thing, when someone greeted him whose smile made Fili instantly smile back. He was blond and blue-eyed, much like Fili, but he wore a baggy-sleeved shirt and a beret decorated with a pheasant feather. He had a guitar slung across his back and introduced himself simply as The Bard in such a flowery speech that it made Fili grin.

Someone else offered him a beer, and now, having found a few people who talked like normal people – apart from the bard who occasionally would recite something in a sombre voice – Fili found he could relax and enjoy the company. The guy sitting on the grass behind the bard next to a djembe, tall and with black dreadlocks, a black goatee, and a face full of piercings, would occasionally snort and roll his eyes at the bard’s outbursts of poetry, and the bard would turn to him and the two would exchange a _look_.

You didn’t have to be a genius to see the two were an item.

That made Fili more than a little wistful, as watching them interact made it clear that they were one of those couples able to communicate without any words if needs be. He also caught them snogging a while later as he followed Oriel across the clearing back to the parking lot and had to force his eyes away.

“The two are a funny pair, aren’t they?” Oriel grinned as he looked back and forth between the two and Fili’s face. “He wanted to play a necromancer and then said he couldn’t really be bothered with the costume and the brooding, so now he plays a necromancer who can’t be bothered and enjoys life travelling with the bard.”  
Fili had to laugh and shook his head. “So...” he began as he took a sip of beer. “What’s your character name then?”  
“I do not have a character name,” Oriel replied with a wink. “My name is Oriel, and it’s Slavic and means ‘eagle’. What do I need another name for?”

Fili joined his laughter although he couldn’t imagine anyone looking less like an eagle than this short, slender man with glasses.

Before Fili could say anything else another group of LARPers passed them by, three guys and a red-haired woman. The one in the lead was tall, slender and had a mane of dark, long hair. He also seemed quite pissed.

“Come on, Kili,” the redhead said. “Yes, your costume rocks, but you can’t possibly play a dwarf!”  
“I am fucking sick of you trying to get me to play an elf!” The one called Kili stormed past Fili and Oriel without giving them a look. “Did you see the size of that elf mage at Finsterwald 3? If that guy can stick pointy latex ears on and call himself an elf then I can play a dwarf.”  
“We did,” the redhead said with a sigh.  
“Yeah, I heard him being called the elf-fant,” another one said drily, a long, almost white-blonde mane flowing down his shoulders.  
“Exactly.” Kili stopped and spun around. “I mean okay, I don’t exactly look like a dwarf, I’m not going to shave and play an elf! I just play half-breed dwarf!”

The three others, quite obviously elf players and proud of it, left their friend to his sulking.

“You could play a dwarf,” Oriel said to Fili. “With that beard and those shoulders.”

He had the social skills of a slice of bread.

The would-be dwarf who really was a bit too tall to be a convincing dwarf spun around and rolled his eyes when he realised who it was.

“Hey Ori,” he said, then his eyes fell on Fili.

He froze. Fili had no idea what he had done wrong and then, in a strange movement that wasn’t really one, their eyes met.

Brown eyes. Sparkling brown eyes, full of life and laughter and longing.

And within a heartbeat, the bone-deep feeling that if he would ever lose those eyes again, his life would end.

They weren’t aware they were staring at each other. They were completely oblivious of their Slavic friend looking back and forth between them before retreating while muttering something intelligible under his breath.

There was nothing else.

Blue eyes locked into brown eyes, two young men who had no idea what just had happened to their world. Because nothing was right anymore. And yet, everything had led to this moment.

Fili had no idea how he knew, but he knew. He _knew_.

All those years. All those dreams. All those feelings of laughter and joy, of longing and pain, it had all led to this moment. All those feelings. All those memories. They all led him to this, this moment, those brown eyes. And the soul behind them.

Fili didn’t even remember why he had thought his dreams could be anything but the plain truth.

“Kili!” Someone yelled, and then, louder and coming closer: “Kili! We found your arrow!”

That broke the spell of the moment, and the two suddenly became aware of each other again, and of the world around them.

The blonde guy from earlier handed Kili an arrow with a padded tip, and he had a feisty little grin on his face. Kili blushed as he took the arrow and slipped it into his quiver while repeatedly clearing his throat.

When Kili looked up at him again, Fili could see he felt as confused as he himself felt.

“Hey,” Kili said after a moment. “Um. I haven’t seen you before?”  
“No,” Fili replied. “Oriel dragged me along.”

Silence. A terrible, awkward silence. Fili wanted to throw himself bodily at the other man and was frozen to the spot.

“So... I’m Kili,” Kili said. “I mean you heard that already, right?” A blush appeared on his cheeks covered in stubble. “Are you... are you playing as well?”  
“I...” Fili began and had t swallow. “I wasn’t...sure.” He cleared his throat as well. “But it looks... looks like fun, actually.”  
“It’s great.” Kili took a step forward. “And Ori is right, you know? You’d be an awesome dwarf.” His face darkened somewhat.  
“Hey, so are you,” Fili replied. “You’re not nearly as tall as the other elves over there.”  
Kili shrugged. “They say dwarves don’t have archers.”  
“Get yourself a sword as well. I mean, dwarves hunt, don’t they?” Fili had found his smile back, but his heart was still hammering in his chest. “So why shouldn’t they use bow and arrows in combat if needs be?”  
“True.” Kili shifted from one foot to the other.

And then they happened to look at each other again. Time stopped. For a moment. For a heartbeat.

“Um.” Kili was the first to get his wits back. “If... if you need help with the costume...”  
“I think I do.” Fili made a point of looking across the lawn and not at the man beside him. “I wouldn’t know how to do a dwarf.”

In the dead silence that followed the two looked at each other, but suddenly erupted in helpless laughter.

They didn’t speak to each other anymore that day, but ended up sitting next to each other at the fire that evening.

“You could play a dwarf,” the redhead said to Fili with a grin. “You’re a perfect dwarf.”  
Kili sulked and threw a twig into the fire.  
“Hey,” Fili said to him, and when Kili looked up, he continued, “Play a half-breed dwarf. Why the fuck not?”  
“You could be brothers,” The blond elf said. “Brothers from different mothers.”

Brothers.

“Brothers,” Fili said and tasted the word on his tongue. “Brothers.”

“Brothers,” Kili said as well, equally thoughtful. “That could work.”

Their eyes met again.

“Will you be my half-brother?” Kili asked. His voice was low.  
“I’d like that very much,” Fili replied in an equally low voice.

As the evening wore on the two found themselves move closer to each other, and when at one point their hands touched, they closed their fingers around each other’s while staring into the fire. The bard was singing a slow, soft song, a capella because he had the head of his boyfriend in his lap, and he was toying with a dreadlock as he sang.

Fili and Kili looked at each other again, the world dark outside the circle of light cast by the fire. Their fingers tightened their hold.

_Don’t let go._

_Never. Never again._

_Never again._

The bard started on another song, low, deep and haunting, and his voice drifted into the darkness above them, carried by the flickering glow of light.

_“Far over the misty mountains cold...”_

Bursts of sparks erupted into the night sky as a log broke in the fire.


End file.
